EXPECTING THE UNEXPECTED
How do we prepare for unanticipated events that often happen as we age? We can't. Even if we have our "affairs" in order, it is rare to be emotionally ready for a sudden illness, an accident, the onset of dementia, or for that matter, finding our way through a complicated healthcare system. These events can cause pain, confusion, isolation, family stress, financial hardship -- and that's the short list. Most of the time, if a patient is unable to care for herself, it is usually an adult child, a spouse, or a sibling who finds themselves in the midst of a complex situation -- while providing care and comfort -- and still attending to other responsibilities and commitments. Is that you?
WHERE I'VE BEEN AND HOW I GOT HERE
My name is Marcy Baskin. I am an elder care manager, a family coach, and a champion of those faced with making difficult care decisions for an aging loved one. Here is part of the story that led me to this fulfilling and compassionate work.
On September 16, 2001 I flew on an empty plane (5 days post 9/11) from California to Florida to support my mother during her back surgery and post operative care. I had not been present for her pre-op appointment. When she returned from the recovery room and started to regain consciousness, she was disoriented, upset, frightened, inconsolable. With just a little digging, I discovered that she had been given opiates for pain in the recovery room. It should have been in her medical record that she was sensitive to opiates. Even when I brought this to the attention of the nurse in charge, she attempted to placate me and said she would "Let the doctor know" when she could. This was not good enough and so I had my first experience with advocacy. The doctor was contacted within 20 minutes and changed her pain prescription orders.
For several years, I managed my father's medical care as he battled diabetes, prostate cancer, and other assorted maladies. When I began overseeing his care, the seven different doctors he was seeing each had an assortment of prescriptions for him -- he was taking 16 different medications! Most of his providers knew nothing about what the others were prescribing. He was sick, miserable, and his cognition was getting fuzzy, although he did not have dementia. He was over medicated and under attended. I became his constant companion and advocate at medical appointments, including psychiatric evaluations, lab tests, blood sugar/insulin evaluations, interviewing new doctors and getting second opinions. I asked the questions that Dad was too vulnerable, too intimidated, too disorganized to ask himself. I spent countless hours on the phone, sitting on hold, seeking information and answers. Within two months, he had only two doctors -- a primary care provider and an endocrinologist to monitor his diabetes -- and was taking only six medications. Soon he was more alert, calmer, less depressed. It didn't save his life but as he always put it, "At least I have all my marbles back." His quality of life had improved.
Mom had Alzheimer's Disease, an entirely different challenge. I made lists of questions and took her to all medical appointments, researched every new (and old) drug that was on the market, managed to get her to stop driving, found a residential care facility, arranged for at-home dental and podiatry services, and took care of the endless details related to her care. Because she was eventually unable to communicate, I needed to find time in my already over extended life to add frequent visits to her residence. It was challenging on many levels. I was compelled to ensure that her dignity, health, safety, and comfort were being attended to. Had I hired a care manager, I would have had help finding the right residential facility. Or an advocate to argue with an insurance provider over denied claims and sort through that whole mess. How much extra time would I have in my day if I had someone to make a quick visit to Mom and let me know how her day was going? What might it have been like to simply be with Mom during those last months, instead of feeling like our visits had to include never-ending task management on my part? The list is endless.
My parents have both passed now, and I learned more than I ever wanted or needed to know about caring for loved ones who could not care for themselves. Their illnesses affected my entire life, my career, my sleep, even my own health. Yet I was also left with tremendous compassion for people struggling to manage this on their own. How I would have welcomed another pair of eyes, ears, and hands, a professional who could walk me through unknown and often rocky territories. Another heart that cared. Perhaps I can do that for you.
HOW CAN I HELP?
As an Elder Care Manager, Family Coach and Patient Advocate, I am trained and experienced in finding you some relief. It can be as simple as reviewing a medical bill for accuracy or as complicated as sorting through the recommendations and referrals from healthcare providers following a complicated diagnosis. Together we can ensure that you know what medications are being prescribed and why. We can make sure all your doctors know about each other and understand each other's prescription and treatment recommendations. After a hospital discharge , I can review the discharge plan with you and make certain that you understand all of it and arrange for any home modifications that might be necessary for safety. I have resources for durable medical equipment (e.g. wheelchairs, walkers, commodes, etc.) not covered by Medicare, technology for medication reminders, agencies that provide home care visits, contractors who modify homes for safety and comfort. Maybe you are thinking of exploring complementary/alternative therapies and would like some simple, straightforward conversation about the different modalities. I am very familiar with many of the residential options in Marin, Sonoma, and Napa counties and if placement assistance is what you need, we can explore that together. We can even talk about ways you can take care of yourself, which is, (as I am sure you've repeatedly heard), as important as caring for your loved one. You know the drill - put on your own oxygen mask first.
How do we prepare for unanticipated events that often happen as we age? We can't. Even if we have our "affairs" in order, it is rare to be emotionally ready for a sudden illness, an accident, the onset of dementia, or for that matter, finding our way through a complicated healthcare system. These events can cause pain, confusion, isolation, family stress, financial hardship -- and that's the short list. Most of the time, if a patient is unable to care for herself, it is usually an adult child, a spouse, or a sibling who finds themselves in the midst of a complex situation -- while providing care and comfort -- and still attending to other responsibilities and commitments. Is that you?
WHERE I'VE BEEN AND HOW I GOT HERE
My name is Marcy Baskin. I am an elder care manager, a family coach, and a champion of those faced with making difficult care decisions for an aging loved one. Here is part of the story that led me to this fulfilling and compassionate work.
On September 16, 2001 I flew on an empty plane (5 days post 9/11) from California to Florida to support my mother during her back surgery and post operative care. I had not been present for her pre-op appointment. When she returned from the recovery room and started to regain consciousness, she was disoriented, upset, frightened, inconsolable. With just a little digging, I discovered that she had been given opiates for pain in the recovery room. It should have been in her medical record that she was sensitive to opiates. Even when I brought this to the attention of the nurse in charge, she attempted to placate me and said she would "Let the doctor know" when she could. This was not good enough and so I had my first experience with advocacy. The doctor was contacted within 20 minutes and changed her pain prescription orders.
For several years, I managed my father's medical care as he battled diabetes, prostate cancer, and other assorted maladies. When I began overseeing his care, the seven different doctors he was seeing each had an assortment of prescriptions for him -- he was taking 16 different medications! Most of his providers knew nothing about what the others were prescribing. He was sick, miserable, and his cognition was getting fuzzy, although he did not have dementia. He was over medicated and under attended. I became his constant companion and advocate at medical appointments, including psychiatric evaluations, lab tests, blood sugar/insulin evaluations, interviewing new doctors and getting second opinions. I asked the questions that Dad was too vulnerable, too intimidated, too disorganized to ask himself. I spent countless hours on the phone, sitting on hold, seeking information and answers. Within two months, he had only two doctors -- a primary care provider and an endocrinologist to monitor his diabetes -- and was taking only six medications. Soon he was more alert, calmer, less depressed. It didn't save his life but as he always put it, "At least I have all my marbles back." His quality of life had improved.
Mom had Alzheimer's Disease, an entirely different challenge. I made lists of questions and took her to all medical appointments, researched every new (and old) drug that was on the market, managed to get her to stop driving, found a residential care facility, arranged for at-home dental and podiatry services, and took care of the endless details related to her care. Because she was eventually unable to communicate, I needed to find time in my already over extended life to add frequent visits to her residence. It was challenging on many levels. I was compelled to ensure that her dignity, health, safety, and comfort were being attended to. Had I hired a care manager, I would have had help finding the right residential facility. Or an advocate to argue with an insurance provider over denied claims and sort through that whole mess. How much extra time would I have in my day if I had someone to make a quick visit to Mom and let me know how her day was going? What might it have been like to simply be with Mom during those last months, instead of feeling like our visits had to include never-ending task management on my part? The list is endless.
My parents have both passed now, and I learned more than I ever wanted or needed to know about caring for loved ones who could not care for themselves. Their illnesses affected my entire life, my career, my sleep, even my own health. Yet I was also left with tremendous compassion for people struggling to manage this on their own. How I would have welcomed another pair of eyes, ears, and hands, a professional who could walk me through unknown and often rocky territories. Another heart that cared. Perhaps I can do that for you.
HOW CAN I HELP?
As an Elder Care Manager, Family Coach and Patient Advocate, I am trained and experienced in finding you some relief. It can be as simple as reviewing a medical bill for accuracy or as complicated as sorting through the recommendations and referrals from healthcare providers following a complicated diagnosis. Together we can ensure that you know what medications are being prescribed and why. We can make sure all your doctors know about each other and understand each other's prescription and treatment recommendations. After a hospital discharge , I can review the discharge plan with you and make certain that you understand all of it and arrange for any home modifications that might be necessary for safety. I have resources for durable medical equipment (e.g. wheelchairs, walkers, commodes, etc.) not covered by Medicare, technology for medication reminders, agencies that provide home care visits, contractors who modify homes for safety and comfort. Maybe you are thinking of exploring complementary/alternative therapies and would like some simple, straightforward conversation about the different modalities. I am very familiar with many of the residential options in Marin, Sonoma, and Napa counties and if placement assistance is what you need, we can explore that together. We can even talk about ways you can take care of yourself, which is, (as I am sure you've repeatedly heard), as important as caring for your loved one. You know the drill - put on your own oxygen mask first.
